Leadership Energy: What to Do When You’re Leading on Empty

Running on Empty

There’s a moment every leader knows, but almost no one admits out loud.

You’re sitting at your desk, staring at an email you’ve read three times.
Your coffee is cold.
Your to-do list looks like it multiplied overnight.

And instead of feeling motivated… you feel numb.

Not dramatic.
Not collapsed in a heap on the floor.
Just quietly, silently empty.

Most leaders don’t realize they’re burned out until the flame has almost gone out.

But here’s the twist:
Leaders are often the last to notice their own exhaustion—
and the first to feel responsible for fixing everyone else’s.

The Truth Nobody Tells Leaders

In my coaching cohort, we talk a lot about Purpose, Passion, and Perseverance.

• Purpose is why you show up.

• Passion is the fuel.

• Perseverance is what helps you keep walking even when the road gets steep.

But passion is misunderstood.

People think passion means excitement.
Spark. Energy. Fire.

But the root of the word—patior—means to suffer or to endure.

Passion means we care so deeply that we are willing to sacrifice.

And that’s where so many leaders get stuck:
They keep pouring.
They keep saying yes.
They keep carrying weight that no one sees.

But passion isn’t infinite.
Even the strongest leaders run out… when they don’t protect what matters.

That’s why the most courageous leadership skill is not endurance.

It’s boundaries.

Where Boundaries Begin

Setting boundaries doesn’t start with saying no.

It starts with a story.

Your story.

The experiences that shaped you—how you grew up, what was modeled for you, what love or leadership looked like, what was rewarded and what was criticized—created your boundaries long before you ever held a title.

• Did you learn that helping everyone else comes first?

• Did you learn that saying no makes you unkind, ungrateful, or difficult?

• Did you learn that leadership means being available 24/7?

None of those beliefs are failures.
They are lessons you picked up along the way.

But they are not the lessons you have to carry forward.

Three Simple Practices to Start Leading with Boundaries

Not huge, dramatic changes—
small ones that create space to breathe again.

1. Protect white space

Block time on your calendar that no one can touch:

• Creativity time

• Thinking time

• Breathing room between meetings

• Quiet space to reset

When leaders rush from meeting to meeting, they’re forced into manager mode—task-oriented, reactive, exhausted. White space is what allows you to return to leader mode—visionary, connected, present. Even 10 minutes matters.

2. Schedule rest before burnout arrives

Most leaders wait until they hit the wall.
By then, it’s too late.

Research shows that recovery and regeneration are not luxuries for leaders—
they are requirements.

A 2023 study published in Frontiers in Psychology found that senior leaders often operate with depleted energy due to emotional pressure, constant self-control, decision fatigue, and isolation. The study identified that leaders regain vitality through intentional recovery—time away from work, autonomy, and moments that create psychological distance from constant demands.

In other words:
Leaders who don’t rest don’t just feel tired—
they lose the capacity for clarity, creativity, and connection.

So rest isn’t an indulgence.
It’s leadership strategy.

Audit your calendar:

• Where can you unplug?

• Where can you rest without apology?

• Where can you build in renewal instead of collapse?

Because if you don’t schedule your wellness,
your body—and your performance—will schedule it for you.

3. Say “no” so you can say “yes” to what matters

Every yes is a trade:

• Time

• Energy

• Attention

• Joy

We say yes for many reasons:

• People-pleasing

• Guilt

• Fear of conflict

• Fear of missing out

• Wanting to be supportive

But here’s the truth every leader needs to hear:

If the request does not align with your mission, your values, or your purpose—
it is a no.

And if someone else can do the task 80% as well as you,
it’s not yours to keep.
That’s not abandonment.
That’s leadership.

Saying no is a skill.
And skills get stronger with practice.

The Turnaround

Leadership isn’t built on running until you fall apart.

The leaders who make the most impact aren’t the ones who carry everything.

They are the ones who protect their energy, so they can show up with clarity, joy, and purpose.

Passion is fuel.
Fuel must be replenished.

And a leader running on empty cannot ignite hope in anyone.

🌟 HOPE in Action: Macoupin County CEO Program

This month we are shining a spotlight on the Macoupin CEO program!

In this inspiring episode of the Lead with H.O.P.E. Podcast, host Dr. Brandi Kelly sits down with Cheryl Mitchell. Cheryl was a former director of the CEO program, an educator, corporate trainer, keynote speaker and author, whose story reminds us that purpose often grows from unexpected transitions!

✨ Tune in wherever you get your podcasts!

Thank you for spending a few minutes with me today.

As we move through November, let’s celebrate the hope and potential in our students, in our communities, and in the programs that nurture their growth. The work we do—big or small—can spark confidence, connection, and courage in the next generation.

With HOPE,

Dr. Brandi Kelly
Founder, Spark HOPE Edu
sparkhopeedu.com|[email protected]